At the start of this most glorious of overdone commercialized "holidays", this year for V-day, the dastardly duo Shiz and Kidney carried out a most deviously maniacal plot around about one in the morning.
You may now be wondering, "What vandalicious delinquency could they have done???" (Okay, maybe not those exact words, but ya get me).
Well, obviously, we got some ninjas in the BC....They're climbin' in yo' windows, they're scarin' ya half ta death, tryin' ta love ya. So y'all need ta hide your candy, hide your flowers, hide your cookies, hide your ice cream, and hide your chocolate, cuz they're eatin' everythin' out here. You don't have to weep anymore, we're givin' you love, we gonn' find you, we gonn' hug you. Now you can run and tell that, run and tell that, run and tell that HOMEBOY, home, home, homeboy.
Hope you enjoyed that. We sure enjoyed writing it. Tee hee, tee hee.....
But, for reals. That gave you next to no information about last night's Shiz on your Kidney exploits. We apologize, sometimes we just get a wee bit carried away in our own brilliance. It happens. Let's see....what privileged informations shall we yet divulge on this all-too-public forum for personal expression??
There really were ninjas running around the BC. Not even us being awesome. You couldn't really see them, they was so speedy fast. Yet, they had mysteriously disappeared by the time Shiz and Kidney even began their delinquent deeds. (Can we even call it delinquency anymore??? we might be too old for that title....)
Right about now, we know what you must be thinking (we have awesome mind-reading powers, don't ya know?) You must be saying in your little heart of hearts, GET TO THE POINT!!! ARE YOU EVER EVEN GOING TO TELL US WHAT YOU DID???!!?!?!?!!! Truth is, no. We decided it would probably be against our better judgment. HA! Joke's on you! Who actually listens to their better judgment, anyways?!?
So, last night.....in a stroke of brilliance, we remembered it was Valentine's Day. Oh Yeah. Dat's how we do. Thinking to ourselves, "What does Valentine's Day even mean??", and not really having a quick answer to that, of course we went straight to the source of all knowledge, Google. (Okay, to be truthful, we already had a glimmer of an idea of our future deviousness for that night. Our imaginations just needed a little pick-me-up.)
To the Marvelous Mr. Google, we asked, "Can you guide us to some humorous Valentine's Day greetings?" Of course, he answered in the affirmative. He gave us such wonderfully witty ideas, including the opening line of this post. Oh Yeah. What did we do with such hysterical messages of love? Take a guess.
Give up yet??? Even if you haven't, we will in a very vague, roundabout way explain to you the answer to the above question which is surely burning holes through your frontal lobes at this very moment. Oh yes we did.
The activity carried out at 1:00 am on February 14, 2011 by the infamous Shiz and Kidney is not on the level of extreme cunning that we may have implied. (This is our blog, for goodness sakes). It is in fact an activity many of you I am sure have yourselves participated in at some point in your life. Sorry to disappoint. We were indeed subtle and we were indeed stealthy, but I would be remiss if I did not admit here and now that our exploits are actually very common behaviors, and not at all as deviant and non-conformist as one would hope. However, on the upside, this activity generally brings a certain amount of pleasure to those who are on the receiving end.
Now that you are thoroughly confused, we have determined to give in to your demands and straight up tell you what we did. On Valentine's Day, a heart attack means more than a blocked artery cutting of the blood flow to an area of the heart and a sleepover in the ER. To us, a heart attack means a little bit more. It means sharing the love in your heart, and hoping that somehow that warmth and light that flows from your heart will proceed to utterly annihilate the high brick wall put up as a defense around your dear friend's tiny, empty black box of a heart. It means filling that little box heart with such hope and joy and love that it eventually becomes a real heart. One that is open to feeling the love of others and the love that originates within. It is hoping that you can make a difference in people's lives. We are so noble. And cheesy. And awesome.
An aesthetically pleasing visual for your viewing convenience. Enjoy.
You may now be wondering, "What vandalicious delinquency could they have done???" (Okay, maybe not those exact words, but ya get me).
Well, obviously, we got some ninjas in the BC....They're climbin' in yo' windows, they're scarin' ya half ta death, tryin' ta love ya. So y'all need ta hide your candy, hide your flowers, hide your cookies, hide your ice cream, and hide your chocolate, cuz they're eatin' everythin' out here. You don't have to weep anymore, we're givin' you love, we gonn' find you, we gonn' hug you. Now you can run and tell that, run and tell that, run and tell that HOMEBOY, home, home, homeboy.
Hope you enjoyed that. We sure enjoyed writing it. Tee hee, tee hee.....
But, for reals. That gave you next to no information about last night's Shiz on your Kidney exploits. We apologize, sometimes we just get a wee bit carried away in our own brilliance. It happens. Let's see....what privileged informations shall we yet divulge on this all-too-public forum for personal expression??
There really were ninjas running around the BC. Not even us being awesome. You couldn't really see them, they was so speedy fast. Yet, they had mysteriously disappeared by the time Shiz and Kidney even began their delinquent deeds. (Can we even call it delinquency anymore??? we might be too old for that title....)
Right about now, we know what you must be thinking (we have awesome mind-reading powers, don't ya know?) You must be saying in your little heart of hearts, GET TO THE POINT!!! ARE YOU EVER EVEN GOING TO TELL US WHAT YOU DID???!!?!?!?!!! Truth is, no. We decided it would probably be against our better judgment. HA! Joke's on you! Who actually listens to their better judgment, anyways?!?
So, last night.....in a stroke of brilliance, we remembered it was Valentine's Day. Oh Yeah. Dat's how we do. Thinking to ourselves, "What does Valentine's Day even mean??", and not really having a quick answer to that, of course we went straight to the source of all knowledge, Google. (Okay, to be truthful, we already had a glimmer of an idea of our future deviousness for that night. Our imaginations just needed a little pick-me-up.)
To the Marvelous Mr. Google, we asked, "Can you guide us to some humorous Valentine's Day greetings?" Of course, he answered in the affirmative. He gave us such wonderfully witty ideas, including the opening line of this post. Oh Yeah. What did we do with such hysterical messages of love? Take a guess.
Give up yet??? Even if you haven't, we will in a very vague, roundabout way explain to you the answer to the above question which is surely burning holes through your frontal lobes at this very moment. Oh yes we did.
The activity carried out at 1:00 am on February 14, 2011 by the infamous Shiz and Kidney is not on the level of extreme cunning that we may have implied. (This is our blog, for goodness sakes). It is in fact an activity many of you I am sure have yourselves participated in at some point in your life. Sorry to disappoint. We were indeed subtle and we were indeed stealthy, but I would be remiss if I did not admit here and now that our exploits are actually very common behaviors, and not at all as deviant and non-conformist as one would hope. However, on the upside, this activity generally brings a certain amount of pleasure to those who are on the receiving end.
Now that you are thoroughly confused, we have determined to give in to your demands and straight up tell you what we did. On Valentine's Day, a heart attack means more than a blocked artery cutting of the blood flow to an area of the heart and a sleepover in the ER. To us, a heart attack means a little bit more. It means sharing the love in your heart, and hoping that somehow that warmth and light that flows from your heart will proceed to utterly annihilate the high brick wall put up as a defense around your dear friend's tiny, empty black box of a heart. It means filling that little box heart with such hope and joy and love that it eventually becomes a real heart. One that is open to feeling the love of others and the love that originates within. It is hoping that you can make a difference in people's lives. We are so noble. And cheesy. And awesome.
An aesthetically pleasing visual for your viewing convenience. Enjoy.
 |
| Little black box heart before heart attack. It is sad. |
HEART ATTACK!!!
 |
| Heart after attack |
Please excuse the obscene length and wordiness of this post. I guess we had a little too much fun.
Feel the love. <3
Peace and Blessins.
SHIZ & KIDNEY
"vandalicious delinquency" were the exact words I used when wondering about your nightly excursions.
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